


Oceans

by youwerefantasticrose



Category: Doctor Who
Genre: F/M, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-29
Updated: 2013-03-29
Packaged: 2017-12-06 21:50:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 606
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/740529
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/youwerefantasticrose/pseuds/youwerefantasticrose
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>I think I finally understand what it means to be lost <br/>Can’t find the road to lead us out of this <br/>A million miles from where we burned the bridge <br/>Can’t keep pretending that every thing’s gonna be alright <br/>With the whole world falling down on me </i>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	Oceans

_Cross the oceans in my mind  
Find the strength to say goodbye   
Everything we believed in was a lie   
Cross the oceans in your mind   
Find a way to to blur the line   
In the end you never can   
Wash the blood from your hands _

He spends months trying to find a way. A way across the Void, a way to her. Months of studying, tinkering with the TARDIS, trying to race time before the last cracks close. Months of hating himself, wishing he hadn’t figured out the solution of the Void, wishing the blood of his enemies weren’t mingled with hers on his hands, that killing them hadn’t meant losing her. Months of frustration, of throwing tools across the console room, tears burning in his eyes as he tries to fight what he already knows. There’s no way to get her back.

When he’s tried everything, and to no avail, he knows what he has to do. There’s still one tiny crack left, and if he can’t get to her, he at least has to find a way to say goodbye. He’ll do anything, cross oceans, worlds, galaxies, universes to see her one more time.

He whispers her name, late at night, hoping she can hear him somehow, hoping she’ll know that’s he coming.

He finds a supernova, and he uses it, harnesses its power to transmit himself to her.

She’s heard him.

They’re on a beach. Bad Wolf Bay, she says, and his throat tightens. Of course it is. There’s part of him that rejoices, seeing her after what’s been months for him, but it shatters when she reaches for him, her hand going through.

“I’m just an image. No touch.”

“Can’t you come through properly?”

“The whole thing would fracture. Two universes would collapse.”

“So?”

He smiles as his heart breaks, wishing so hard that he could disregard this, that he could tear about a million worlds to get to her.

But he can’t. 

“I don’t know what to say,” she says, and she really doesn’t; he’s here but he’s not, and she has so much to say but at the same time it’s like it’s stuck inside of her, like the words are trapped in another universe.

“I—,” she pauses, her eyes full, and he wants so much to touch her, but he can’t, he never will again, he thinks, and it’s all he can do to stay standing.

“I love you,” she finishes with a gasp.

His hearts clench, and he loves her so much, so much, and he hates himself at that moment, for never saying it before, for waiting until now, when it’s the end.

“Quite right, too,” he says, trying to hold himself together. “And if it’s my last chance to say it…”

Her eyes widen, and he’s ready, ready to say it, because he does, he really does.

“Rose Tyler…”

And he’s gone, back in the TARDIS, chance lost again. Back on the beach, she stares at the empty space where he stood, and she falls to her knees, hands clenched until she draws blood, sobbing as the world falls down on her.

He stands in the TARDIS, his breath caught in his throat, and the tears burn down his cheeks, a millions miles and a whole world away from her, from home, as his universe turns slowly around him.

_I think I finally understand what it means to be lost  
Can’t find the road to lead us out of this   
A million miles from where we burned the bridge   
Can’t keep pretending that every thing’s gonna be alright   
With the whole world falling down on me_


End file.
